Love, beyond the surface

To describe this week as overwhelming is really an understatement. This one week taught me knowledge worth beyond. And I am a firm believer that, you will never truly understand any situation without experiencing it yourself, or if you are not willing to stoop down to the same level as they are and see things from their perspective. Never.

You know that sentiment. When you are weighed down by so many emotions, words cannot seem to make their way out of you. This feeling is indescribable, and it won’t settle. So I’m left speechless, hanging loose, stunned and mostly, stupid. Too oblivious to only realise it now. And I’m numbing myself, because I don’t know how to react.

Life is really full of surprises. It’s like a peek-a-boo. Only reveal when the time comes, and you’ve got no say but to accept that it’s how things are meant to be. My thoughts/views have been too shallow. I’m gonna talk one topic at a time. And for this post, I’ll be talking about inner beauty.

Just stop correcting how people don their hijabs or dress themselves already. Why are we so quick to correct others. Honestly, hijab does not promise you anything. It won’t make you a pious person. You want to know what does? Your heart. The hearts the strive to conduct only the Good. Lately, I have witnessed so many beautiful hearts of friends or people who do not wear the Hijab, and I am amazed by it! As though I’ve never ever knew things like this can happen. I used to associate Muslims who does not cover their aurah to be sinful, somehow. But you know what, I think, they have better manners and bigger hearts than I do? At least, they’re brave enough to stand up to their beliefs when others begged to differ. In my case, I wouldn’t speak up what I believe is right, because I fear how people would view me. So so timid.

Inner beauty is the pureness of the heart. To choose to believe, be passionate, practice good mannerism and be humble. Inner beauty is knowing your roots despite the circumstances. It is personal, your personal promise or virtue. This is what Muslims must possess first and foremost. With inner beauty, then every other things will be put to place without force. And this is how we should portray as Muslims, despite how different or diverse we are. This the thing we need to inculcate or hold deep within us, so that when other people see us, they see through us and not what is layered upon us.

Now, I understand why some people choose to grow their love for the religion first, before they make the big decision to don the Hijab. The image of Islam should not be based on how we dress ourselves, but how we respond to situations. Of course, with proper or decent dressing, it would be like a whole package. What I meant is that, I do not see the point of enforcing the dress code more than the Akhlaq. Can we see more of, “Hey, why don’t you treat others like how Rasulullah treat his neighbours”, instead of “Hey, why is your dress too fitting?” please. Islam can’t just be based on looks right?

This does not mean I will remove my Hijab whatsoever. I am comfortable with Hijab, and I am satisfied with my Hijab progress, but now, my priority will be on aiming for the inner beauty. It takes practice. Do not worry if people cannot see that in you. Remember, it is personal. It will eventually show itself.

Let’s all unite and help each other achieve inner beauty.



Trying to push myself harder

Why is it so difficult for me to make changes, to be someone better. Most of the time when the right time comes knocking on my door, there’s this part of me that holds my intention back; a strong force that immobilises me. Maybe that force is my huge ego and stubbornness, maybe it’s me procrastinating, or it’s simply my own laziness.

I don’t know. And this frustrates me, because I know too well that I do want the change, so bad.

Every second diminishes the distance to your own grave, Sabie. If you want it, do it now. Forget how you’re going to perceive yourself afterwards because of how unfamiliar you might be with the new you, or how others will treat you.

The main point is that, you’ll definitely feel much confident, because then you’re going to prove your past self(or rather this self right now) wrong.

Update (15-10-15):

I found this lovely post by Mizi Wahid on my Facebook feeds that resonates with this post of mine. When I needed an answer and came across this, would you say this is a mere coincidence? Maybe I was destined to see the post below after all.

“When you make the decision to change your life for the better, Everything in you will begin to shake. Your spirit will be fighting. And every flesh in your body will try to pull you down.

You’ll want to give up. And you’ll be tempted to go back – to old acquaintances, old comfort zones, old habits, and old ways.

Everything in you will tell you you’re not worthy to be free, to be clean, to begin again.

But this new year, God-willing, things are going to be different. It will be the year that you finally escape, the gravitational pull – of the enemy’s whispers. Your future has more to offer you, than your past has to burden you. The reason you made it to this new day, despite the scars, despite the failures, despite the illnesses, is because God still has a plan for your life. Keep your head up high. And keep on keeping on.”