Things come and go. They grace you with their mere existence, and leave you with absolute emptiness. Then, you have to scout for anything with a strong impact to replace that emptiness, that unease you have in your mind, heart and at times, soul.
Now, how do you replace the lost you hate seeing. One could say, ‘Just forget it.’, but we all know that line is just like another gleam of light that passes your sight. That particular thing has implanted itself in your memory lane, and to extract it out, you gotta dig deep inside to the roots, to release its hold and grip on the ground, and set it free. No, this is never an easy task, unless it’s already loosely attached, and stand weak and ready to be blown away with a whisper of the wind in your soul.
Once it’s loose, the scars it left on the ground, the marks, the unevenness, the space. It hurts. It might not be physically hurting you, but deep down, it ruins the calamity and the perfectness it brings. The joy it adds to your memories. The sweetness and melodious harmony it brings to your life. They’re all gone, vanished, reaped out of you, with such strength that you could feel and hear every twist and turn. You feel detached. Incomplete. A part of you is gone.
Next, come the waves of anger, sadness, guilt, confusion, that army of emotions crashing down the lane, destroying every bits of happiness, and filling you with the new yet familiar presence you wish you wouldn’t face. The chaos it causes, you don’t even know how you’re supposed to deal with it, but you think they should be there just because. You let it brew and grow, the heat of it engulfing your soul and your surroundings, and in need of attention. Let the world know how raged you are, how torn apart you are, how they should be roaring along with the tides. The energy that broiled up, you cannot contain them. At times, to balance the energy in you, you tend to let it out, by crashing whatever comes in your sight. Let them fall, crack, disperse, shatter, just like you.
You are at your peak. You need something to knock you off. To let you drift away from that bursting emotion. To make you sane, from the state of insanity you have been. To bring the inner you at peace. To be yourself, once again. To spark a light in the darkest cave you have dug. To cover the flame you have lit. To wash away the pouring mud you have caused. To breathe the fresh air you once had. To clear the haze that blinds you. To even the grounds you have spoiled. To rhyme the tune in your life. To straighten the line. To be yourself. To mend your heart. To close the gap. To numb the pain. To stop the bleed. To overcome. To withhold. To cease. To be settled. To be you, once again.
Tears showered your soul. Washing away the bleeding pain.
Windows to your soul is then, opened to let the freshest air and brightest light enter you, moving you away from your solitude.
Armed with experience, tighten with the lessons learnt, you set out on a journey to find the best thing to fill you to the brim. To impress you. Anything wonderful, from learning a new skill, or focusing on a existing work, or getting occupied with multiples loads. Anything that has the might to steer you away from that situation you regret.
How exactly successful could that be?